Unfortunately many of us make faith out to be a work, which it's not. We take that which exists outside of performance, drag it into a performance, and commend or condemn ourselves based on how we feel we're doing. If you're reading this, I suspect you lean toward condemn, me too. Thus is the plight of the legalist. Everything is seen through the eyes of performance...even faith...the very thing that nullifies performance (Rom. 3:27-28).

Legalists are like people who have shovels for hands. When something needs to be accomplished, we're primed and poised to dig right in, get 'er done, and check that box off. We dig and dig and dig, surpassing our contemporaries in the process (Gal. 1:14). Unfortunately this zeal, while it's been a comrade through much of our lives, in the case of faith, it becomes a stumbling block (1 Cor. 1:23). Why? Because we don't understand faith through this lens. We understand works, we understand digging in, we understand performance. But faith? Faith to the legalist is just another work we need to dig in and accomplish... and that is why we stumble...faith is not something you can accomplish. The Father of the demon possessed boy knew this well and offered up what is perhaps the most relatable prayer for those of us struggling with faith.

"I believe, help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24b

This prayer doesn't make sense to a legalist. We either see it contradictory such as if I were to say "I love grapes, help me with my hatred of grapes!" Or we see this prayer through the lens of a work, something like "I believe some, help me to be better at it". Both are in error. What this man prayed is a beautiful prayer prayed in faith, and should provide us faith strugglers a bit of relief.

First let's understand this man's backstory a bit. He's a defeated dad with a son who is demon possessed. This demon has rendered his son mute, it seizes him, slams him to the ground, causes his son to foam at the mouth, grind his teeth, and stiffen out. Furthermore the father testifies that this demon has often throw his son both into the fire and water with intent to kill him (Mark. 9:22). This is not merely a recent event but the father said this has been happening since he was a child (Mark. 9:21).

I wonder how many doctors this man has been to? This isn't a condition you can hide or ignore, nor is it one a loving parent can just learn to be content with. I suspect this man has tried everything...and everything has failed. Now there are reports of the disciples of Jesus, that they are casting out demons. Desperate, he finds them... and...they are unable to cast it out (Mark 9:28).

Doctors failed, disciples failed, everything has failed, this is a man whose heart is trained in defeat, so much so he's come to expect it at a heart level. His heart is trained in let-downs. When Jesus shows up does he get excited? No. Does he get confident? Hardly. Rather his heart expects failure. Remaining desperate he pleads, "if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!" (Mark 9:22).

Jesus response is an interesting one, "if You can? All things are possible to him who believes." (Mark. 9:23). To us legalists, this only furthers our despair. Through our legalistic lens we hear "if you don't do good at faith, these things won't be possible" and instead of finding rest (Mat. 11:28-30), we find anxiety as we once again take up the burden of faith (which shouldn't be a burden) and make effort to try and do better for the umpteenth time.

Jesus has a wonderful way of letting our burdens crush us through questions He asks, I believe, in order to hurry us to the actual Solution. Similarly when He told the zealous rich young ruler he needed to sell all his possessions, he's pointing out to this man a problem he's not strong enough to solve himself. The rich young ruler went away weeping (Mark 9:22), this man did the right thing. Instead of trying harder, he prayed to Him who can do all things to solve this for him.

Many of us put the responsibility of faith on ourselves. We understand we are not saved by works, yet being deceived we've made faith a work and hold ourselves responsible for it's performance. As long as we're doing that, we NEED to fail at it. The sooner you get to recognizing your helplessness, even your helplessness of faith, the sooner you can start putting that burden into the hands of Jesus to solve like this father did. On a side note, I hope the rich young ruler eventually came back to Jesus, understanding he wasn't strong enough to accomplish that which was required of him and for the first time, recognized he needed Jesus to solve his problem.

Hebrews 12:2 states that Jesus is the "author, and perfecter of faith". Other translations state "originator, and finisher of faith". Your faith was instigated by Him, your faith is a gift from Him (Eph. 2:8-9), your faith is preserved by Him (Luke. 22:32), your faith is perfected by Him (Heb. 12:2). Not you. Faith is God's business and this boy's father knew that. Though I wonder how many times he needed to fail to realize that? I wonder how many times you need to fail before you'll realize that?

Notice this boy's father didn't say in response to Jesus "I'm trying!" Nor did he say "I'm doing the best I can". You'll see no promises to do better next time. Instead He acknowledged His unbelief, and instead of trying to fix it, He prayed for Jesus to fix it. He trusted God to deal with his struggles in trusting God. He had faith that Jesus could fix His faith. How many failures of "faith" do we need to go through before we realize the same thing? Jesus knew the answers to the questions He asked, but He drew it out by way of question so that this man could be confronted with it, much like He did in love with the rich young ruler (Mark 10:21). How many times do we need to be forced to square up with our bankruptcy before we'll admit we're bankrupt and have nothing to contribute to our saving (Mat. 5:3)?

Let me approach this from a different angle. If faith is mandatory for salvation, which it is, and God does all the saving, which He does, faith then must therefore be all His doing from start to finish (Heb. 12:2). If any part of it is up to us and therefore salvation is contingent on how well we perform at it, then the promise of salvation cannot be a guarantee, which it is (Rom. 4:16) and the Spirit cannot seal us for salvation, which He does (Eph. 1:13-14). If saving faith rests on our performance, then Paul's confidence is misplaced when he stated, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6).

Trust God to fix your faith issue. He's the only one who can. After all what other option do you have? How is fixing it yourself going? Jesus response to this father was that all things are possible for one who believes. This means Christ is able to fix you faith! When Peter was about to endure sifting at the hands of Satan, Jesus prayed for Peter, specifically that Peter's faith would not fail (Luke 22:32). Wouldn't you rather He see to the success of your faith as well? I'm confident Peter was glad it was in His hands, you can be too. It's time to stop trying and start trusting. Trusting God even with your struggles to trust God.

'Lord, I believe, help my unbelief' is the best any of us can do really, but thank God it is enough. - Frederick Buechner.